This English version was translated from the Chinese original with AI assistance. The Chinese text is authoritative.
Chinese characters have a unique charm that other scripts lack. Uncovering the wondrous relationships between characters is endlessly fun. If you don’t believe it, come and look at these humorous dialogues between characters! Below is a collection of masterpieces by online writers; see whether it isn’t so.
臣 says to 巨: Same floor area as you, but I’ve got three bedrooms and two living rooms!
晶 says to 品: Don’t tell me your place still hasn’t been decorated?
妙 says to 好: I’m younger than you and I don’t have a boyfriend, so of course I have certain advantages.
师 says to 帅: Not a single medal on your shoulder and you’re the supreme commander already. Isn’t it all down to your pretty face!
主 says to 玉: Why keep your wisdom hidden? Rather than waiting for others to discover you, work hard to show yourself!
禾 says to 干: No way, is your family so poor you don’t even have a skirt to wear?
器 says to 哭: I told you to practice your speaking skills, and now you’ve been scolded to tears.
十 says to 千: Now that you’ve climbed to a high branch, your status really is different!
会 says to 云: I have someone above me, so naturally I don’t drift around everywhere like you.
个 says to 不: This guy forgets his roots the moment he gets ahead, always singing the opposite tune to me!
下 says to 上: Let’s get married; only our union can achieve a great empire!
尺 says excitedly to 尽: Big sister, the test results are out. You’re carrying twins!
巾 says to 币: Son, with your doctoral cap on, your worth has gone up a hundredfold.
自 says to 目: Heh, looks like your boss has been dismissed.
茜 says to 晒: The sun’s out. Why don’t you wear a straw hat?
个 says to 人: I’m not like you young people. Without a walking stick I can hardly take a step.
办 says to 为: Balance is what really counts!
兵 says to 丘: Look! How cruel war is: both your legs have been blown off!
且 says to 但: Coward, going around with a bodyguard all day.
日 says to 曰: You should have gone on a diet long ago.
土 says to 丑: Don’t think shoulder-length hair makes you good-looking; underneath you’re still a country bumpkin.
寸 says to 过: Old man, you’ve bought a recliner?
由 says to 甲: Isn’t it tiring practicing one-finger Zen like that?
叉 says to 又: When did you have plastic surgery? Where’s the mole on your face?
比 says to 北: We’ve been husband and wife; why go through a divorce!
吕 says to 昌: Compared with you, my home is nothing but four bare walls.
大 says to 太: A hernia operation is actually very simple.
人 says to 从: Why haven’t you had the separation surgery yet?
木 says to 术: Pfft! One mole on your face and you think you’re a beauty.
屎 says to 尿: Dry and runny really aren’t the same.
有 says to 贿: Things really are easier with money!
巴 says to 色: I’d like a knife too. If my head were cut off, wouldn’t there just be me left!
囚 says to 人: Before I got into trouble, I was as free as you!
象 says to 像: Brother, being enslaved by people doesn’t feel good, does it!
鲜 says to 鱼: Buddy, still haven’t found a partner? Don’t be so old-fashioned; try something different!
盯 says to 丁: Alas, poor thing, born blind.
盯 says to 叮: How come you only have one eye?
想 says to 相: Heartless thing, even when looking at people you’re as dull as a block of wood.
尔 says to 你: We’re the same rank in the same work unit; how come you’ve been given a secretary and I haven’t?
大 says to 天: Don’t think wearing a hat makes you bigger than heaven; take off the hat and you’re the same as me.
目 says to 泪: I told you not to get tangled up with that guy, but you wouldn’t listen. Now look at you, crying every day.
大 says to 犬: I told you long ago not to keep practicing that iron-head kung fu for no reason, but you didn’t believe me. Now you’ve got a big lump, and trying to draw a tiger you’ve ended up looking like a dog.
夭 says to 妖: No wonder so many men look at you; you’ve become so womanly!
怕 says to 白: The ignorant are fearless. You don’t even have a heart, so of course you’re not afraid of anything.
拉 says to 啦: Don’t just stand there shouting; come and help!
桌 says to 罩: What’s with the headscarf? Trying to dress up as bin Laden?
冤 says to 兔: At last I’ve found a home.
西 says to 洒: Is it raining outside?
正 says to 止: Did the strong wind blow off your bamboo hat?
下 says to 卞: The rafter that sticks out rots first.
尺 says to 尸: Has your home been burgled?
王 says to 土: Put on a hat; be careful not to catch cold.
土 says to 王: Where did you get such a big peaked cap?
土 says to 干: Why are you always working against me?
乒 says to 乓: We’re just the same, first-class disabled veterans.
也 says to 她: Being the boss really is different; you take your secretary everywhere.
冇 says to 有: Where did you get so many crooked schemes?
乘 says to 乖: Where are your trousers? Embarrassing, isn’t it?
非 says to 韭: Who would have thought there’d be a centipede like us who can walk a tightrope!
一 says to 乡: You’re not straightforward at all, twisting and turning like a mountain road.
木 says to 束: Don’t think I won’t recognize you just because you’ve put on a vest.
丙 says to 两: When did your family gain an extra person? Did you get married?
戍 says to 戌: We’re practically cast from the same mold, like twins.
长 says to 张: Do you think you’re Houyi? Why carry a bow around all day for no reason?
大 says to 爽: There were only four questions; how did you get all of them wrong?
电 says to 龟: Wearing your hat at an angle, who are you trying to look cool for?
日 says to 旦: When did you learn to skateboard?
人 says to 从: Quite a talent! I haven’t seen you for a few days and you’re in love.
弋 says to 戈: Don’t think I’m afraid of you because you carry a sword. If you’ve got the guts, let’s go one-on-one and see if I don’t flatten you.
页 says to 须: I looked away for a moment and you’ve grown a beard?
人 says to 入: Brother, your hairstyle has real personality.
丰 says to 卅: Who told you to swagger around? Now you’ve been knocked down!
冢 says to 家: It’s just that little bit; what’s there to show off about?
家 says to 冢: This is the twenty-first century; you have to be good at promoting yourself.
手 says to 毛: How dare you comply in public and defy in private.
毛 says to 手: Agreeing with you on the surface is already giving you plenty of face!
人 says to 众: Carried up high by others, be careful not to fall.
