This English version was translated from the Chinese original with AI assistance. The Chinese text is authoritative.
1. Three people spent 200,000 yuan to produce 170,000 yuan in counterfeit notes.
2. In a British marathon only one runner finished the race; the runner in second place led five thousand people the wrong way.
3. A child’s skeleton was found in Cao Cao’s tomb, and a so-called “expert” (砖家, a pun on 专家) said it was Cao Cao as a child.
4. To scare her boyfriend, a woman called the police and said he was a fugitive; the police investigated and found he really was a fugitive.
5. A young American man held a gun to commit suicide; his mother found him and called the police, and to stop him from killing himself, the police shot him dead.
6. Ukraine’s proposal to abolish Russia’s veto was vetoed by Russia.
7. A couple in Zhejiang “fantasized” about winning five million in the lottery and came to blows over how to split it.
8. His girlfriend mistook Fengyoujing (a medicated oil) for lubricant, and Xiao Wang spent his wedding night in Beijing No. 3 People’s Hospital.
9. A female MERS patient in Korea escaped from the quarantine zone, and Korean police arrested 500 people in one day based on her appearance.
10. A man checked into a hotel and paid 800 yuan for two call girls; the three of them ended up playing Dou Dizhu (Fight the Landlord) all night, and the man won more than 2,000 yuan!!!
11. A teacher who molested a female student was sentenced to “1 year” at first instance, refused to accept it and appealed; at second instance he was sentenced to “12 years.”
12. A girl was diagnosed with AIDS, and to take revenge on society she hooked up with men every day. After a year of this, the doctor told her it had been a misdiagnosis.
13. A man stole 50,000 yuan worth of drinks from a warehouse, poured them all out overnight, and sold the empty bottles for a little over 200 yuan.
14. A burglar broke into a home and took off his shoes for fear of making footsteps; his feet stank so badly they woke the homeowner.
15. A woman failed her driving test for 13 years; the driving school refunded her in full and treated her to dinner.
16. A medical-student girlfriend found her boyfriend cheating and stabbed him 32 times, every stab avoiding vital organs.
17. After Zhang Yimou paid his fine for excess births in full, the Chinese government allowed and encouraged second children.
