This English version was translated from the Chinese original with AI assistance. The Chinese text is authoritative.
Ancient Chinese education was mostly about teaching people how to conduct themselves. For example, in the primer Three Character Classic, the great majority of the text is about how to conduct oneself, how to handle affairs, and how to manage relationships with the people around one; these things are extremely lacking in modern school education. As children grow up, these aspects basically come from the influence of adults and parents. It can basically be said that as the parents are, so are the children. This site will gradually reprint some articles on this subject.
A film like Beauty and the Beast, suitable for young and old alike, naturally draws many parents who bring their children to see it, and one netizen ran into this kind of “outlandish” incident:
* Netizen “That Linqin Girl Who Loves to Smile”: “I was watching Beauty and the Beast, and in the row in front a mother had brought her child. The child kept shrieking, and the mother gave the child her phone to play with. The light from the phone was glaring, so I said to the child’s mother, ‘Excuse me, could you please not let the child play with the phone?’ The mother said, ‘What manners! Fussing with a child.’ Then she left with the child, and before leaving she even shone the phone at me.”
In daily life, I am sure we have all seen plenty of cases of parents “teaching” their children like this. Children who “learn” this way from their parents when young will “do” the same when they grow up, and when others see it they will most likely say: no upbringing at all.
So what exactly is this upbringing that we so often talk about?
The parents’ cultivation is the child’s upbringing
It is said that parents are a child’s best teachers. Seeing dad spit on the ground, the child will think there is nothing wrong with it; seeing mum roll her eyes at a waiter, the child will think that is right. In cinemas, on trains and in restaurants we have seen too many naughty brats and parents who don’t know how to “teach,” yet in life there are also many parents who do know how to “teach”:
* Netizen “Lion-Brand Rabbit”: “In the morning my mum went out to exercise and happened to come across a sanitation worker watering the plants. A father and son were standing there; the little boy, five or six years old, thought watering was great fun and wanted to do it too. His dad very politely asked the sanitation worker: ‘Sir, could you let my son water a little?’ The worker said, ‘Sure.’ The little boy watered with great care and joy.
After a while the little boy asked his dad: ‘Dad, when I grow up I want to be a sanitation worker and water plants too!’ His dad said very calmly: ‘Sure, as long as you study hard and work hard. Every trade has its top achievers.’”
“People are born alike, yet are raised in ten thousand ways.” No baby is born understanding etiquette, and no child is born a wilful brat. Every word and deed of the parents subtly influences the child. Nowadays we love to discuss raising children rich, raising them poor, and raising them with love, but what we should really care about most is upbringing.
And upbringing has nothing to do with wealth or poverty:
* Netizen “Sunny-Day Tiger”: “At a metro station I saw a father and son. The father was obviously a simple, honest farmer carrying a big woven bag on his back. As they walked through the passage, the son said, ‘Dad, careful your bag doesn’t bump into anyone.’ The father replied, ‘Oh, all right.’”
There are unreasonable shrews even in first class on a plane, and there are people who understand propriety, righteousness, integrity and shame on country lanes. True upbringing has nothing to do with family wealth. Seeing this little girl helping her good friend hold down her skirt, you will only think of how cultivated a family she comes from, not how rich a family.
The little girl above, helping her good friend hold down her skirt, comes from such a cultivated family. (All the above are images from the web)
The parents’ cultivation is the child’s upbringing. If a child is not raised well when young, society will eventually return a resounding slap when the child grows up.
(This article is excerpted from Her Magazine)
