This English version was translated from the Chinese original with AI assistance. The Chinese text is authoritative.
Take a look at these compositions — how many marks would you give them? Some will make you laugh yourself silly: adorable, startling in what they say, with logic all their own. If you don’t believe it, see for yourself!
Compositions
Composition 1: “Wow, So Pretty!”
Kids these days are so clever
When we were little we racked our brains to pad out the word count with a blow-by-blow account
This one just rattles it off in one breath
And between breaths still remembers to praise how pretty it is…
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Composition 2: “Family Portrait”
Classmate, a slap followed by a sweet date
Dad couldn’t get angry even if he wanted to!
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Composition 3: “A Poem”
It rhymes! The metaphors are apt!
Mum is delighted, Dad is speechless — you win!
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Composition 4: “Taking Out the Rubbish”
Kid, your inner drama could carry an entire episode of “Society and Law”
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Composition 5: “Fish”
Your logic is simply divine
So thoughtful!
I just want to see whether you’ll actually marry when you grow up!
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Composition 6: “If I Had Only 3 Days to Live”
The teacher’s comment, after coughing up three bowls of blood:
By your reckoning, I’m already a “thousand-year-old demon”…
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Composition 7: “The Drowned Fish”
Kid, you do need some common sense
Otherwise everyone else has 365 days a year and you have 366
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Composition 8: “Another Poem”
So young and already seeing through life
Having seen through the vanity of the world — even through the screen I can feel a faint sorrow
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Composition 9: “Love”
Concise and to the point, with a process and an outcome; 100 marks for imagery
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Composition 10: “Me in Twenty Years”
The teacher is falling apart inside: kid, I only want what’s best for you
And this is the future you arrange for me…
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Composition 11: “His Life”
The protagonist dies as soon as he appears. Kid, don’t become a screenwriter
Or no one in your TV series will survive more than one episode
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Maths
Teacher, I compared it so precisely and you still won’t give me marks?
Doesn’t your conscience hurt?
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Bro! Nothing wrong with that! 666 (awesome)!
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Teacher, this question of yours is flawed
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Kid, Crayon Shin-chan gives your integrity full marks
But could we learn a little, please?
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Teacher, I’m not wrong, am I? (innocent face…)
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Teacher, you must not have eaten enough sweets in your past life…
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The teacher was deeply moved, and then turned him down
This is a sad story
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Great poem! Great poem! If you have the skill to write poems, a bit of revision and you’d know this
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Xiao Ming, you have to walk life’s road by yourself!
Kid, you’re so thrifty with the household
Should the teacher be happy, or be happy?
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Hahahaha…
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Nice drawing, but still no marks
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Chinese
Little one, how do you know so much?
Have you been handing out too many flyers…
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Let’s see whose tricks run deeper……
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Nothing wrong with that…
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May I ask how many dads you have?
That one’s hard to explain…
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Kid, the cow is here with me — stop blowing it (bragging)…
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Female teachers are fine, but what about male teachers?
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Who says only famous people can have famous sayings?
What I say myself is a famous saying too…
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That stings, bro!
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Too gory, young man!
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The teacher gave you an exam paper
And you set the teacher a no-win question
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She’s still little, let her off!
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Classmate, what’s in your head?
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Mum: Come here, I promise I won’t beat you to death!
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Nice doggerel!
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Kid, you’re so blunt — no marks…
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Your idol has cried himself unconscious in the toilet…
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60 marks omitted here — so domineering
Kid, you have too many answers
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Other subjects
Kid, you’re very honest! But still no marks…
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Blue enough — I can already see the blueprint
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Hahaha, what have you been through?
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Kid, you’re poking into too much… are you “One Hundred Thousand Whys”?
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Life is hard enough, don’t expose it, classmate!
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A real “grass” drawing (rough sketch) — the screen is full of grass. Should the teacher cry or laugh?
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Mums, have you seen what your children really feel?
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This child is bound to achieve great things…
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Tell me, is that firm enough? If not, I’ll draw more!
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Learning a bit of English and writing the whole family to death
Are you sure you won’t get a beating when you get home?
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As they say, good looks give you licence to be wilful — there’s something to it
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Kids should have a sunny outlook…
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Your powers of comprehension really bring the teacher to his knees…
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So tragic — sad to hear (“smell”)…
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After reading all this I honestly feel
Every child is a genius hahahaha!
