This English version was translated from the Chinese original with AI assistance. The Chinese text is authoritative.
As a modern parent, do you know how today’s children should be educated? Many parents think that family education means developing a child’s intellect: having the child recite Tang poems from age two or three, learn English at four or five, and, once at school, hiring tutors and attending cram classes; grades must be at the top of the class, and the child must go to a famous university in the future. It seems that only then is the parents’ education successful and the child a success. Practice has shown that this is a great misunderstanding of family education, a harmful consequence of exam-oriented education within the family. The most important task of family education should be to build the Great Wall of the child’s character.
Imagine a child who lacks an understanding of life (thinking of suicide at the first setback), lacks the capacity to dream (not knowing what he wants to do in the future), does not know how to protect himself (being abducted and sold by peasants even as a doctoral student), and cannot share with others (rolling in money yet unhappy). Even if such a child came first in every subject, what good would it do?
Mr. Cai Yuanpei says in his book The Self-Cultivation of the Chinese: what determines a child’s life is not academic performance, but a sound cultivation of character!
A child’s education from an early age shapes the path of later development, and a child’s education rests on the parents. So what should proper family education be? Let us look together at eight key educational guidelines for parents.
Today, those who most need to change are the parents, namely their ideas about education. So what is correct family education? It is that parents should help their children build a good platform for life, so that they have good cultivation of character, know how to conduct themselves, and understand the true meaning of success.
Only when parents’ ideas about education change can our children receive a good family education and benefit from it all their lives.
1The first key: how to help children develop an optimistic, positive attitude
1. Accepting reality is the first step toward optimism
2. Cultivate an optimistic character, so the child can face life’s misfortunes calmly
3. Help the child keep an even mind
4. A child who spends much energy on anxiety cannot bring his inherent abilities into play
5. A sense of humor looks like a “small trick” but is in fact a “great skill”
2The second key: teach children gratitude and tolerance
1. Narrow-mindedness will only make a child suffer all his life
2. With a loving heart comes the drive to seek knowledge and beauty
3. Pranks can “cause trouble”; guide the child to correct them promptly
4. Promptly eliminate cruel behavior in children
5. Only by knowing gratitude can one grow
3The third key: cultivate the courage to face setbacks
1. Children are fragile; teach them to dare to face failure squarely
2. Cultivating a child’s willpower must not be neglected
3. A child unfamiliar with setbacks will find it hard to fit into society
4. Replace inferiority with self-confidence
5. Always blame a child for failure, and he will become “incapable”
6. Praise children, but not excessively
4The fourth key: teach children to protect themselves
1. Teach children some safety knowledge so they can respond calmly to harm
2. A child who relies on his parents will inevitably take falls
3. A child lacking social skills is at constant risk of being swallowed up by life
4. Overprotection amounts to “harm”
5. Raise the child’s “immunity” so he can face temptation calmly
5The fifth key: let children dare to dream
1. Only with dreams is there creation
2. Do not scold a child’s “dream talk”
3. When a child has a dream, urge him to take a step toward it
4. Refusing a child’s “why” questions is clipping the wings of his thought
5. Treat a child’s interests kindly
6. A creative child often has a racing mind
6The sixth key: cultivate good communication skills
1. A child who knows social etiquette will be well liked
2. A child who speaks well is best able to draw others’ interest and attention
3. To respect others is to respect oneself
4. If a child dares to admit a mistake, the mistake is already half corrected
5. The ability to cooperate is more important than knowledge
6. A child who knows how to listen has personal charm
7The seventh key: teach children to use money sensibly
1. The earlier a child encounters and learns to use pocket money, the easier it will be to earn money as an adult
2. Handle the child’s New Year money properly
3. Form the habit of saving, and the child will benefit for life
4. Giving a fish is not as good as teaching how to fish
5. Correct the child’s urge to compete blindly with others
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The eighth key: help children understand themselves correctly
1. Encourage the child to take the initiative in making friends, and dispel loneliness and withdrawal
2. A child who is shy for a long time easily develops feelings of inferiority
3. Only by learning to appreciate others can one appreciate oneself
4. Let the child discover one of his own strengths every day
5. Only by knowing how to “give up” can one “gain”
