This English version was translated from the Chinese original with AI assistance. The Chinese text is authoritative.
The marvellous fun contained in Chinese characters will always surprise you. In history, men of letters had many elegant pastimes, and writing homophonic texts was one of them. A homophonic text may use only one syllable throughout, with any of the four tones and any punctuation. Though it is a tongue-twister to read aloud, the story it tells is full of wit.
The Story of Mr. Shi Eating Lions (《施氏食狮史》, every syllable pronounced shi)
石室诗士施氏，嗜狮，誓食十狮。施氏时时适市视狮。十时，适十狮适市。是时，适施氏适市。
氏视是十狮，恃矢势，使是十狮逝世。氏拾是十狮尸，适石室。
石室湿，氏使侍拭石室。石室拭，氏始试食是十狮。食时，始识是十狮，实十石狮尸。试释是事。
Explanation:
In a stone room there lived a poet surnamed Shi who loved eating lions and was determined to eat ten lions. He often went to the market to look at lions.
At that time, Mr. Shi happened to arrive at the market too. He saw those ten lions, shot arrows, and killed the ten lions.
He picked up the bodies of the ten lions and brought them to the stone room. The stone room was wet, so Mr. Shi had his servant wipe the stone room dry. When the stone room was dry, he began to try eating the ten lions.
While eating, he discovered that the ten lions were in fact the bodies of ten stone lions. Try to explain this matter.
Wiping the sweat… that look~~
The Benevolent Endure the Blade (《仁人忍刃》, every syllable pronounced ren)
人人仁人人忍人，认仁人忍人刃人。
仁人仁忍人人刃，人忍人人人人仁。
忍人仁人任人刃，任人刃人任仁人。
Explanation:
If everyone is benevolent, everyone will be tolerant of others; those who know benevolence will endure others attacking them.
The benevolent will benevolently endure everyone’s attacks on them; if people tolerate everyone, then everyone will be benevolent.
The benevolent person with forbearance lets others attack at will; only the benevolent let others attack them.
My tongue is tied in knots, I’ll stop talking. Better just to be a benevolent person!
The Anxious Corrupt Official (《忐贪》, every syllable pronounced tan)
贪贪忐探探，坦探探贪贪。
探探摊贪袒，忐贪坍叹瘫。
Explanation:
When a corrupt official embezzles, he is very afraid of being found out by the police; the selfless police always search for evidence of the corrupt official’s embezzlement according to lawful procedure.
When the police find evidence of the corrupt official’s crimes, they expose it, and the corrupt official, who has been on tenterhooks all day, sighs and collapses on the ground on finding that the affair has come to light.
Come on, loosen up your tongue and read it aloud!
Xi Plays with the Rhinoceros (《熙戏犀》, every syllable pronounced xi)
西溪犀，喜嬉戏。
席熙夕夕携犀徙，席熙细细习洗犀。
犀吸溪，戏袭熙。
席熙嘻嘻希息戏。惜犀嘶嘶喜袭熙。
Explanation:
The rhinoceros of the West Stream loves to play. Xi Xi takes the rhinoceros out every day, and busily and carefully helps the rhinoceros bathe. The rhinoceros sucks up stream water and sprays it at Xi Xi to tease him. Xi Xi, laughing, tells the rhinoceros to stop fooling around, but the rhinoceros never tires of it and just loves to play.
It seems this is a playful rhinoceros.
The Record of Lady Ji Striking the Chicken (《季姬击鸡记》, every syllable pronounced ji)
季姬寂，集鸡，鸡即棘鸡。棘鸡饥叽，季姬及箕稷济鸡。
鸡既济，跻姬笈，季姬忌，急咭鸡，鸡急，继圾几，季姬急，即籍箕击鸡，箕疾击几伎，伎即齑。
鸡叽集几基，季姬急极屐击鸡，鸡既殛，季姬激，即记《季姬击鸡记》。
Explanation:
Lady Ji felt lonely and gathered some chickens to raise, the kind of wild chickens that come out of thorn thickets. When the wild chickens were hungry they cried “jiji,” and Lady Ji took millet from a bamboo winnowing basket to feed them.
When the chickens had eaten their fill, they jumped onto Lady Ji’s book box. Lady Ji, afraid of dirt, hurriedly shooed the chickens away; the chickens took fright and jumped onto the small table.
Lady Ji became even more anxious and used the bamboo winnowing basket as a tool to chase the chickens, throwing it at the wild chickens. The basket flew very fast, but it hit the pottery figurine of a performer on the table, which fell to the ground and was smashed to pieces.
Lady Ji looked carefully and saw the chicken hiding under the table squawking wildly. In a fit of anger Lady Ji took off her wooden clog to beat the chicken, and beat it to death.
Thinking about the whole business of raising chickens, Lady Ji became agitated and wrote this Record of Lady Ji Striking the Chicken.
Raising these chickens came at a high price indeed!
Yu Yu Wants to Fish (《于瑜欲渔》, every syllable pronounced yu)
于瑜欲渔，遇余于寓。语余：「余欲渔于渝淤，与余渔渝欤?」余语于瑜：「余欲鬻玉，俞禹欲玉，余欲遇俞于俞寓。」
余与于瑜遇俞禹于俞寓，逾俞隅，欲鬻玉于俞，遇雨，雨逾俞宇。
余语于瑜：「余欲渔于渝淤，遇雨俞寓，雨逾俞宇，欲渔欤?鬻玉欤?」
于瑜与余御雨于俞寓，俞鬻玉于余禹，雨愈，余与于瑜踽踽逾俞宇，渔于渝淤。
Explanation:
Yu Yu wanted to go fishing and came to my home to find me. He said to me: “I want to go fishing on the mudflats of the Yu River; will you go with me?”
I said: “I’m planning to sell some jade; Yu Yu (俞禹) wants to buy my jade, and I have to go to his home.”
So Yu Yu and I went together to Yu Yu’s (俞禹) home, met Yu Yu, and I wanted to sell him the jade. Then it began to rain, and the heavy rain overflowed Yu Yu’s house.
I said to Yu Yu (俞禹): “I had planned to go fishing on the mudflats of the Yu River, but now I’ve been caught by heavy rain at your home. Should I go fishing, or sell jade?”
Yu Yu and I sheltered from the rain together at Yu Yu’s (俞禹) home, and I sold the jade to Yu Yu. When the rain stopped, Yu Yu and I slowly walked out of Yu Yu’s house and went fishing on the mudflats of the Yu River.
Having many things to do is no problem, as long as you get them done in order, right!
Auntie Yi’s Pancreas Is Treated (《易姨医胰》, every syllable pronounced yi)
易姨悒悒，依议诣夷医。医疑胰疫，遗意易姨倚椅，以异仪移姨胰，弋异蚁一亿，胰液溢，蚁殪，胰以医。
易胰怡怡，贻医一夷衣。医衣夷衣，怡怡奕奕。噫!以蚁医胰，异矣!以夷衣贻夷医亦宜矣!
Explanation:
An auntie surnamed Yi was in low spirits all day long and, following everyone’s advice, went to see a foreign doctor.
The doctor thought there might be something wrong with her pancreas. He had Auntie Yi lean back in a chair, used a special instrument to move her pancreas, and injected one hundred million special ants into it.
As a result, fluid overflowed from the pancreas, all the ants died, and the pancreas was cured.
Auntie Yi was very happy and gave the doctor a suit of Western clothes. The doctor put on the Western clothes, cheerful in mood and full of vigour.
Ah! Using ants to treat a pancreatic illness, how remarkable! And giving Western clothes to a foreign doctor, how fitting!!
These ants are truly amazing!
Having read this far, have you felt the fun of homophonic texts? –
